


Who are you?

by codiwill



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: F/M, One Shot, season 6 spec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-04-06 19:53:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19069543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codiwill/pseuds/codiwill
Summary: What happens when they manage to remove Josephine from Clarke's mind, but the only way to save her is to replace the mind drive with the Flame?





	1. Chapter 1

"There's no way of knowing when she will wake up. If she will wake up," Gabriel said. 

They knew this of course. He had already warned them that taking the chip out of Clarke's neck would remove Josephine but Clarke's consciousness might already be gone. Then, Madi had suggested using the Flame. She could feel Clarke in there sometimes- faint and fragmented. But, still Clarke. It was the only thing they could think of and Gabriel thought it might work. Of all the mind drives he had removed, not a single host mind had fully returned. 

Bellamy was by the bedside, refusing to look anywhere but at Clarke's still figure. He watched her chest rise and fall, thankful at least that she was still breathing. It was something. 

Raven stood in the corner, her arms crossed and glaring. She had barely said a word since getting Clarke to Gabriel and removing the mind drive. Behind her harsh words and snarky shouts was a great deal of guilt. Bellamy recognized it, so did Murphy. It didn’t matter how much she hated Clarke. Clarke was Clarke. Their leader. The one who made the hard decisions and then stood by them. The girl who had saved them all countless times. Clarke was her friend and Raven just wanted her back.

Madi was crying quietly by Bellamy's side. With the Flame gone, the girl was no longer the Commander. She was just a child, waiting for her mother to come back to her. What would happen if Clarke never woke up? Who would take care of her? 

Bellamy would of course. It was as simple as that. He promised Clarke he would protect Madi and he would do so for the rest of his life if that's what it took. 

Abby too was crying. She had helped Gabriel with the procedure, but she always hated this part. The waiting. 

 

It was days before anything happened. Bellamy was draped over Clarke’s bed, one hand in hers and the other arm around Madi. Clarke’s hand twitched and Bellamy shot up, waking everyone in the room.

“Clarke?”

Another twitch.

“I think she’s waking up!” Raven, Abby, and Murphy all crowded around.

Bellamy squeezed her hand. “Clarke?”

Slowly, Clarke opened her eyes. She had to blink a few times to clear her vision.

“ _Clarke_?” Bellamy repeated, becoming desperate for her to say something.

Gabriel had warned them what had happened with other hosts. Memory loss. Loss of voice. PTSD. The possibilities were daunting.

Clarke glanced around the room, taking each one of them in. Finally, her eyes landed on Bellamy and he held his breath.

“You have a beard?” she rasped, reaching out to touch his face. Bellamy faltered. Clarke knew who he was but...

“Mom!” Madi cried. 

Clarke’s arms came up as if to protect herself, but Madi didn’t notice as she jumped onto the bed and wrapped herself around Clarke tightly.

Not touching Madi, Clarke's arms remained out straight and her eyes searched the room franticly.

Noting her discomfort, Madi pulled back. 

“Clarke, are you okay?”

“Who are you?”

Time stopped.

“Why did you call me mom?” Clarke furrowed her brow, her eyes quickly becoming panicked.

Slowly, Madi crawled off the bed, wrapping her arms around her stomach and beginning to cry again. Bellamy pulled the young girl into him, seeking comfort as much as giving it.

Clarke could tell that something wasn't right. Everyone was looking at her weird. There was a child here. Murphy had facial hair. Her mom's hair was greying. She was in a room she didn't recognize. 

“Where am I?” Clarke began to sit up. “What happened? What happened to A.L.I.E.? Did we win? She said there's a death wave coming- that we are all going to die. Is that what this is? Am I dead?" 

In that instant, everyone began to put the pieces together. But Bellamy's heart just shattered. Clarke had her memories, but only the ones leading up to when she had the Flame. She didn't remember Primfaya, or being left on Earth for 6 years. She didn't remember calling him everyday or leaving him in the fighting pits. She didn't remember Madi or Sanctum or Josephine. 

" _Bellamy_?" Clarke begged, her eyes wild and pleading for someone to explain. "What's going on?" 


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per some requests I have added another chapter. Hope you like it!

“Everybody out!” Abby yelled, shooing them all from the room. She didn’t even attempt to make Bellamy leave, knowing it would be useless. But Madi tried to stay too and it wasn’t until Bellamy gave her a gentle shove and a reassuring look that the girl stepped towards the door.

“Mom?” Clarke warbled.

Abby rushed to her side.

“Clarke, honey, its going to be okay. We will explain everything.”

Clarke’s eyes traveled to Bellamy. How was he even going to explain this? How do you tell someone that they lost years of memories, because an immortal psychopath took over their body and erased their consciousness?

“Someone took your memories, Clarke,” he started and her eyes widened. “The only way we could get them back was to put the Flame in your head.”

She lifted her hand to the back of her neck, feeling the fresh stitches there and flinching.

“Wha- what don’t I remember?” Clarke looked close to tears. She glanced at the door where everyone had just gone. “That girl called me mom. Am I? Am I a, a mom?”

This was going to be harder than he thought. Bellamy took a deep breath and sat next to her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. Clarke searched his face, looking for answers.

When he didn’t speak right away, Clarke actually began to cry.

“Is she ours?” she whispered through a sob. “Please tell me I didn’t forget about our daughter.”

Bellamy’s hand clenched harder around hers and he tried not to choke on the breath he had just taken. That was fucking unexpected. Clarke thought Madi was _their_ daughter. To a bystander, he could understand the confusion. Madi had Clarke’s blue eyes and Bellamy’s darker hair and skin tone. Clarke had seen him comfort and hold Madi close the way a father would.

“No,” Bellamy said, ignoring the sound Abby had made in the back of her throat. “You found Madi. You adopted her.”

Clarke gulped, pulling her hand from his. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I just- she looks like you and I just…” she trailed off, unable to continue for fear of embarrassing herself further. 

“It’s okay, Clarke,” Bellamy tried to smile, but it came off forced.

“Can you tell me what happened? How much don’t I remember?” 

He was grateful for the change of subject, but the awkwardness still hung in the air. Bellamy started from the beginning. Learning about Primfaya, the bunker, the list, the conclave, and finally deciding to go back to the Ark.

“We went back to space?” Clarke said with awe.

Bellamy ran a nervous hand through his hair. “We were all supposed to- you, me, Raven, Echo, Murphy, Monty, Harper, and Emori. But you went to go fix the satellite so the Ark would have power and you didn’t make it back in time.”

Clarke’s eyes welled in understanding. Even without her memories, she knew. “You left me.”

Bellamy nodded. “I did.”

She could see the guilt pouring off of him. It was an impossible choice and she knew all about those. 

“Did I make it to the bunker?” 

Bellamy clenched his eyes, trying not to think about how much pain she must’ve been in. How Clarke probably thought she was going to die, wished for it maybe when the pain had been too much.

“No,” he whispered, locking eyes with her, “The bunker was already sealed, but you made it back to Becca’s lab.”

“How did I survive the radiation?” 

“The nightblood worked.” She blinked, looking down at her own arm and remembering when they had pumped Ontari’s black blood into her veins. For Clarke, that had only been moments ago. Now, he was telling her that her mother had found a way to make her a real nightblood. That she had done it in a lab as an experiment instead of testing Emori.

Meanwhile, Bellamy was busy thinking about the six years he had thought she was dead. 

It was times like these that Bellamy was sure Clarke could read his mind.

“How long were you gone?”

“Six years,” he whispered and Clarke’s lip trembled. That was a long time to be by yourself.

“When did I find Madi?” 

“I don’t know.”

They hadn’t talked about it. Clarke might’ve been alone for years before she found Madi or maybe only weeks. Bellamy didn’t like to think about it- Clarke on her own trying to survive on the scorched planet.

She nodded. “What next?”

Sometime when they had been talking, Abby had slipped out of the room and informed the others that Clarke was alright, just a little shaken.

Bellamy continued on about Diyosa and the bunker and the war for Shallow Valley and Clarke listened with rapt attention- asking questions here and there, or nodding. When he got to the Flame, he paused.

“So, I decided that the only thing to do was to make Madi the Commander.”

Clarke didn’t say anything for a long moment, but she had been paying attention to Bellamy’s body signals. He was obviously uncomfortable about this part of the story. Definitely guilty. Maybe even a little mad.

“You put the Flame in my daughter, even though I asked you not to?” 

Technically, she had begged him not to and he'd left her chained. 

Bellamy nodded, meeting her eye. He would stand by his choice, even now. It was the only thing to do to save his family. To save Clarke.

“She is a child,” Clarke hissed.

“She agreed.”

“Probably because you told her some bullshit about it being the only choice! You manipulated her, Bellamy!”

He flinched.

“It _was_ the only choice, Clarke.”

“Not from what I can tell. You could’ve let me go and we could’ve escaped!”

“I know you’re mad at me, Clarke. You were mad then too. You… you slapped me and took Madi in the Rover and left.”

She sunk back into the pillows, her anger deflating a bit.

“Then what?”

“Bloodreina threw me in the fighting pit.”

“I don’t understand,” Clarke shook her head. “Even if I was mad, I don’t think I would have left you to die. The slap… the slap I get.”

Well, Bellamy didn’t think she would leave him to die either. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

“You were on your own for six years, Clarke. Madi was the only thing you had. When we came back, you were thrown right into the middle of another war and there was only one thing on your mind- protecting Madi. It’s the same thing I did when we landed on Earth for the first time with Octavia. But I put your family in harms way and I think a part of you felt like _we_ weren’t family anymore. Things had changed. We weren’t the same.” 

It was interesting, listening to Bellamy defend Clarke to herself.

“And now?” she asked softly. “What are we now?” 

He smiled, a genuine smile. “We trust each other again. You are my family and I am yours.” 

She smiled, but it faded slowly. “How did you forgive me, Bellamy?” 

“Madi told me that while I was on the Ring you called me on the radio every day.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. “What did I say?” 

He chuckled. “You’ll have to ask her. We never got any of the transmissions.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

A pause.

“So where are we now?”

Bellamy took a deep breath, starting in on the story of Harper and Monty’s sacrifice, the cryosleep, Sanctum, and Josephine. 

“ _She took over my body_?” Clarke shivered in disgust. “For how long?”

“It’s been a few weeks. I figure out it wasn’t you the first day, but then you- _Josephine_ , stabbed me with a paralytic and kept me locked up for a few days so I wouldn’t tell anybody.”

“I’m so sorry, Bellamy.” 

He shook his head, leaning closer so their foreheads were almost touching. “There is nothing to be sorry for, Clarke, do you understand me? You’re forgiven. For everything.”

Clarke leaned forward so that their heads actually bumped. “I wish I could remember.”

Tears burned his eyes. “Me too, Princess. But I’ll be there every day helping you remember if you need me too.”

“Thank you, Bell.”

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions for other The 100 one-shots or stories? I would love some feedback or ideas. 
> 
> If you like this, please check out my other works!


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